It Finally Happened!!!

Dear Colgate-Palmolive Company,

I use your most excellent product, "Irish Spring Body Wash for Men."

I read the advertising blurb, "This here's the classic freshness of Ireland! Be ready, lad! It's been known to bring out the lasses!" in the shower every morning. I am ashamed to admit that I had begun to doubt, after these many months, that any such lasses would ever be forthcoming.

O.K., delivering supplies to Dean East Clinic this morning. After I backed into the loading dock, I got out of the truck, and there's a very pretty girl, evidently waiting for me.

"Hi!" she said.

"Wha-at?" I replied, suavely.

She proceeded to spend the next TWO HOURS following me, helping me, kind of joking with me, though I have to admit I was um, somewhat mystified, and was maybe able to string together a few vowel sounds.

I had a little mission up to Ear, Nose and Throat, and when I got back to the truck she was there waiting for me.

"Hi again!" she said. "Are we done?"

I was troubled, for I had no idea that she was supposed to have any involvement in my job whatsoever, but I suppose I must have stammered, Uhhh...yeah."

"O.K.!" she said. "Thanks!"

And then she walked away.

I have never, ever met the girl before in my entire life.

Your devoted customer,

Kurt Joseph Helker (Esquire)